that’s suave as shit.
Me on my way to steal ur footballer
That was absolutely adorable
The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials
okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”
Okay good i didn’t want to reblog this without the racoon one
all of this is just perfect
there was a guy at highball halloween who went as mayhem and he was PERFECT
Have you ever wondered what it looks like, that moment of recognition when soulmates find one another amidst the chaos of existence?
This. It looks exactly like this.
Fox News headlines v. real headlines, part 2425183.
The brunette part is really important.
Fun fact, our hair color reveals our place in pansexual society. Blondes are our record keepers. The great librarians, they collect, analyze, store, and distribute information to the rest of us. They are blonde because they reflect the light of knowledge. Those with Black Hair are our inventors. They investigate, produce, and teach new technologies so that we may thrive in future times. Their hair is black because of their frequent dives into the void of the unknown. Burnettes are our ambassadors. They interact with people, plants, and animals, forging bonds that can protect us when we are threatened. Their hair is brown because of their deep connection to the earth.
And as for redheads.
You don’t want to know the purpose of the Red Heads. But may their hellfire consume our enemies.
*whispers into the night* someone needs to write a fic where Cecil gets all sexually flustered by Carlos’ badboy behavior like eating toast, believing in mountains,and using pens
oKAY WHAT THE SHIT IS NIGHT VALE